Does your partner's family sometimes feel like a third wheel in your relationship, Dear Listener? Maybe your in-laws overstep, your partner sides with their parents over you, or you're navigating grandparents who have strong opinions about how you're raising your kids.
We’ve worked with countless couples struggling with how to relate to in-laws and grandparents, so worry not – we’ve got your back.
This is the third episode in our Managing Thirds series, and we're tackling one of the stickiest thirds of all: your partner's family. We're joined by Relationship Center therapist and couples counselor Cody Gould to explore how couples can navigate in-law relationships without losing their connection—or their minds.
Cody walks us through the spectrum of involvement with in-laws, from boundaryless enmeshment to limited contact to no contact at all—and how couples can figure out what's right for them. We dig into what happens when your partner chooses their parents over you (and what to do about it), how to set boundaries with overstepping grandparents, and why a unified front matters so much when you're parenting differently than your parents did (which, let’s be real, you probably are).
The good news? It all comes back to just one thing: your couple bubble must be protected first and foremost. You and your partner are the proverbial roof of the house; you must be strong and aligned no matter what. Put more simply, before you have any conversation with in-laws, you and your partner need to be on the same page — about what you're comfortable with, what your boundaries are, and how you'll respond when those boundaries get pushed.
If you're navigating tricky family dynamics and want to protect your relationship while honoring the people you love, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways
00:00 Intro
02:02 Managing Thirds Recap
02:36 In-Laws as a Third
07:09 Choosing Involvement Levels
23:02 When your partner sides with their family
34:38 Setting Boundaries with Parents Around Baby
Resources and links
How to set boundaries with in-laws (inc. list of possible boundaries)
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