"What's your attachment style?" has become a typical first date or dinner party question. And for good reason — we can build better relationships when we understand our relationship tendencies.
But did you know that several attachment theory myths are circulating that might be holding you back from finding love and companionship?
Today, we explore which attachment styles are healthy, whether it's possible to have more than one style, whether you can change your style, and how understanding attachment theory isn't a panacea for all relationship issues.
P.S. Make sure to listen to the end to hear Josh and Jessica awkwardly singing about attachment.
👀 Prefer to read this content? Check out our blog post, Yes, you can have more than one attachment style.
Key Takeaways
00:00 - Intro
02:54 - Myth #1: Your attachment styles developed as a result of early childhood experiences.
05:14 - Myth #2: Your attachment style is fixed.
09:28 - Myth #3: Insecure attachment is unhealthy or bad.
14:49 - Myth #4: You're just one style.
29:15 - Myth #5: If you’re insecurely attached, you can’t build secure relationships (unless you find securely attached people).
33:44 - Myth #6: In order to build a secure relationship, you have to develop secure attachment first.
36:22 - Myth #7: Attachment theory explains everything.
39:34 - Bonus Myth and final thoughts
Resources and links
Wired for Love: A book by Stan Tatkin that explores how attachment theory can inform and improve romantic relationships.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love: a book by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller on adult attachment styles and how they impact relationships.
Beyond the Valentine Chocolates and Roses: Creating a Long-Lasting Relationship