About Cat Fillmore
Psychotherapist, Couples Counselor, Sex Therapist, and Dating Coach
Online therapy and coaching for BIPOC, chronically single people, trauma survivors, and interracial couples
Hi there!! I'm Caitlin Elyse Fillmore, but you can call me Cat. I specialize in helping people go from feeling disconnected and alone to feeling deeply loved and desired. My goal is to help you enhance your relationship skills, break unhealthy patterns, and cultivate self-confidence. I especially love supporting fellow BIPOC and multiethnic people, survivors of childhood trauma, late-in-life virgins, and interracial couples.
I'm a psychotherapist in:
California (LPCC# 7654)
Missouri (LPC# 2024006501)
Pennsylvania (LPC # PC017280)
Michigan (LPC# 6401223964)
Maryland (LPC# LC15082)
Indiana (LMHC # 39004839A)
New Mexico (PCMHC # CTB-2025-0440)
As a therapist and coach, I thoroughly enjoy:
Helping couples who argue too much to replace defensiveness with appreciation and complaints with kindness. I’ll teach you concrete communication tools and help you emerge from this challenging time as an even stronger couple. I particularly love helping couples who live in the margins, including:
BIPOC and interracial couples
New parents experiencing post-partum depression
Supporting chronically single people to break free from their own personal dating Groundhog Day. I’ll help you develop a roadmap, dating skills, and the confidence needed to find your person, even if you have little to no sexual or relationship experience.
Empowering socially anxious individuals to feel confident being themselves when interacting with others. Whether you fear rejection because you grew up in a dysfunctional household or navigate ableism, racism, colorism, or any other ‘ism daily, I want to help you feel safe and confident around other human beings.
Guiding sexually dissatisfied individuals and couples to build exceptionally pleasurable sex lives. As a sex therapist, I’m trained to talk about all the things you can’t discuss in polite society! Really, you can’t shock me. I’ll help you heal from trauma, build body confidence, and improve your intimacy skills – because you deserve to feel erotically alive!
My journey to becoming a therapist and coach
I'm a learner at heart, and I LOVE people. The thrill I feel when fostering learning in others inspired me to pursue my first career in education.
Every student I taught, in turn, taught me something. In fact, one of my students inspired me to become a therapist.
One day, while working as a special education student teacher in Chicago, a student said, There’s no point doing the homework. My teacher doesn’t expect me to complete it anyway.
My heart broke hearing that. When I asked why, my student shared that his other teachers scolded him and rejected his ideas, assuming his creative, out-of-the-box contributions were misbehavior. No wonder he developed learned helplessness.
His story highlighted for me how the education system is designed to produce compliant workers, rather than help kids grow into their best selves. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen the flaws in education, but for some reason, that moment was a turning point. I realized that I wanted to find a way to resist the system, not be one of its cogs.
As a multiethnic woman, I’m no stranger to feeling rightful anger at unjust systems. I grew up feeling like a misfit. Anger is a normal reaction to feeling misunderstood and rejected, but no one told me that when I was a child. Only through healing my own mental health challenges in adulthood did I learn that my feelings made sense.
My own struggles and those of other misfits like my student have left me with a passion for supporting anyone who lives between two worlds or has been “othered” by society.
So, I became a therapist. More than anything, I want to help fellow outsiders feel seen and known.
We may share some identities: I am a mixed-race (Black and White) woman. Formerly chronically single, I am now in an interracial and intercultural relationship. I am a cisgender, heterosexual ally to many queer loved ones, with a deep desire to see them fully accepted by our society. I’m a Christian (the Love Your Neighbor kind, not a Storm the Capitol kind).
I walk my talk by going to therapy (individual and couples!), engaging in meaningful rest, and participating in communities that love well. I see relationships as a loving practice, and seek to deepen those connections using all the tools I teach my clients.
In case you’re still wondering whether I’m human like you, here are some fun facts:
Ok, so this one’s maybe not so much “fun,” but helpful to know – I’m a stroke survivor. I woke up one day having lost various functions. And here’s the twist – tests showed not only that I’d had a stroke, but that I was pregnant! Stroke recovery alongside pregnancy, plus navigating various challenges at birth, was one of the most challenging, confusing things I have ever been through. I feel lucky every day for my recovery and, above all, my very adorable daughter.
Before my stroke, I loved to dance salsa and bachata. With time, I hope to get back to it. I am still recapturing who I was in so many ways; while I’m still letting go of some things, I hope never to let go of my love of dance.
Coffee and chocolate make me happy in ways I can't fully describe.
My why: helping others feel seen and loved
People make me so happy. And I’m at my happiest when hearing the stories of fellow humans.
I am captivated by the stories my clients carry and how they speak to the simultaneous fragility and resilience of humanity.
Being a therapist places me exactly where I love to be — walking alongside my clients as they tell, examine, and rewrite their stories. I’m honored to be their witness and guide as they plumb the depths of their experience for greater meaning and joy.
I feel great joy when I can give others the rare experience of feeling deeply accepted and understood.
My unique gifts: authenticity, energy, and heart
If you’re looking for a therapist who won’t leave you guessing, I’m your girl.
I love clarity, so I don’t hesitate to spell things out for others. I’m not the kind of therapist who will dodge your question by asking another question. Rest assured, you won't have to guess what I am thinking.
I bring big, bold energy with me wherever I go. I love colorful clothes and makeup.
Honestly, at the end of my life, I imagine people saying, She sure was loud and opinionated, but she showed SO much love!
I am truly and totally myself and not afraid to let others be the same.
It's easy for me to see the best in others, and I’m always quick to name others’ strengths. My clients often start to see themselves in a more positive light as a result.
Clients often say that I remember more about them than they do! My dedication to learning their stories, combined with my strengths-based, caring approach, helps my clients feel deeply known and accepted. That, in turn, creates the safety they need to make essential yet scary changes.
In fact, my clients are incredibly consistent with attending sessions, which I attribute to the strength of our connection. They genuinely want to see me because I genuinely want to see them!
Still wanting to get a sense of who I am? Try listening to our podcast, I Love You, Too. I’ve been interviewed about:
Our sessions are about you
Sessions will provide you with a new perspective, actionable steps, and comfort. I aim to help you feel accepted, hopeful, and grounded. Within the safety of our relationship, you’ll have the support to break harmful patterns, build self-confidence, and improve your relationship skills.
I bring a multicultural, social justice, feminist lens to everything I do. I'm person-centered and strengths-based—meaning I see you as the expert on your own life, and my job is to help you recognize the resilience you already have.
Through deep listening, I intend to help you feel fully seen and understood.
Mine isn't a "one size fits all" approach to therapy. I will tailor our sessions to your specific needs and concerns.
As a therapist, I embrace the following philosophies
I believe that:
You are worthy of love
Black Lives Matter
We can do hard things
You don't have to struggle in silence
We all need the right conditions to bloom
The future is inclusive
My professional background
After a degree and a stint in special education, I obtained my Master of Education in Community Counseling from Loyola University in Chicago.
Since then, I've worked in a wide array of contexts, including schools, tech companies (employees of big tech giants, I see you!), virtual health, and even in people's homes. Trauma has been a common thread across every setting I've worked in.
I LOVE learning. That, plus my vast array of experiences, has given me an exceptionally rich toolkit of evidence-based approaches, including:
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method– My go-tos for helping couples break negative cycles and rebuild secure bonds
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Inference-Based CBT (I-CBT) – Evidence-based treatments for OCD, with specialized training in Relationship OCD (ROCD)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Helping clients get unstuck from painful thoughts and reconnect with what matters
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Practical tools for shifting unhelpful thinking patterns. Specialized training in Trauma-Focused CBT (TF-CBT) and CBT for Insomnia (CBT-I).
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) – A specialized approach for trauma healing
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – Skills for emotional regulation and distress tolerance
Narrative Therapy – Because your story matters, and you get to decide how to tell it
Sex Therapy Certificate – California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) Public Programs, 2024
Towards Neurodivergent-Affirming Care – Specialized training that, along with my background as a special education teacher, enables me to effectively support ND clients, including autistic individuals, ADHDers, and individuals with OCD.
Services I provide
Black & interracial couples therapy
Dating help
Sex therapy
Let’s discover how I can help
As a misfit with a rich relational life, I know firsthand the path towards feeling understood and loved. With the right support, you can build the connections you crave.
Reach out and let us know that I could be your best fit therapist.
In your free 30-minute consultation, you'll discuss your struggles and goals with our Care Coordinator. Once they confirm that I’m the best clinician for you, they’ll answer any questions you have and schedule your initial session with me.
Fill out an application for a free 30-minute consultation today to get started. I'm here for you!