About Nicole Cassandra Penrod
Psychotherapist and Dating Coach (she/they)
Online therapy and coaching for shy singles, unconventional couples, socially anxious perfectionists, and trauma survivors
Hi! I'm happy you’re here. I'm Nicole Cassandra Penrod, a psychotherapist, dating coach, couples counselor, and California-Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (#138161) supervised by Jessica Anne Engle (LMFT #81850).
I specialize in helping anxious folx build self-confidence and exceptional relationships. I especially love supporting socially anxious folx, trauma survivors, unconventional couples, and queer creatives.
My goal is to help you clarify what you want, break harmful patterns, and develop communication skills so you can finally feel at ease around others.
As a therapist and coach, I enjoy supporting:
Singles who struggle with dating anxiety, including late bloomers who feel self-conscious about their limited relationship experience (including you, late-in-life virgins!). I love helping shy singles build self-confidence so that they can find a partner who loves them, flaws and all.
Couples who have the same fight over and over. I’m here to help you learn tactics for level-headed communication so you can stay connected when life is overwhelming. I especially love working with unconventional couples going through transitions, including new parents, queer couples processing sexual identity shifts, and couples opening up to ethical non-monogamy.
Socially anxious perfectionists who struggle to let go and have fun in social situations. I excel at showing type-A helpers how to build self-esteem so they can feel comfortable relating to others and building genuine connections.
Trauma survivors who are struggling with a big transition. Whether you’re exploring your sexual or gender identity, going through a breakup, or coming to terms with childhood trauma, I’m here to help. I aim to help you find calm amid significant changes and build a fearlessly authentic life.
My journey to becoming a psychotherapist and coach
When I was 19, I sought therapy for the first time. I was starting to question my gender and sexuality and felt overwhelmingly lost.
Searching for the right therapist was isolating and highly nerve-wracking! I grew up in a family and community that stigmatized therapy, so I had to overcome a lot (externally and internally!) to get the support I needed. Asking for help can be scary, especially if you’ve learned that only crazy or weak people need therapy.
I had quite a few "false starts" thanks to all that internalized stigma, but with the support of friends, I eventually made an appointment and stuck with it. I’m so glad I did! I worked with an incredible clinician who saw me clearly and deeply.
With my therapist’s help, I built self-confidence and self-love, learned tools for reducing overwhelm, broke self-sabotaging patterns, and learned how to identify and express my feelings.
And let me just say, that last one was huge for me! I went from, Feelings are scary and I'm unsure of myself all the time! to, I spend my days helping others embrace their emotions and feel confident being who they are! Talk about a long but transformational journey!
My decision to seek help from a therapist not only gave me my life back but also gave me a purpose. Through my first experience with therapy, I realized that I wanted more than anything to be a safe place for people who were looking to heal.
Well, that and working in a university residential life setting for five years. At UCLA, I coached students through homesickness, roommate conflicts, anxiety, fear of the future, and sex. My students’ vulnerability and growth continuously inspired me, and I realized – this is what I want to do every day! I pursued mentorship and peer coaching training, then a graduate degree in counseling psychology, and now associate licensure as a psychotherapist.
I was also motivated to become a professional helper by my countless experiences being the only queer or non-binary person in the room. It is incredibly important to me to support folks who have felt similarly isolated.
We may share some identities: I am queer and non-binary. I come from a biracial and bicultural household. I am white, Latinx, and Peruvian-American (and mostly fluent Spanish speaking). I am the child of an immigrant. I also identify as a creative (I’m a writer and voice actor) who’s familiar with entertainment and similar industries.
I walk my talk by going to my own therapy (my therapist is awesome!). I also express myself through journaling, short stories, and poetry. I optimize my schedule to see sunlight in the morning and spend time with loved ones. When I’m sad and tempted to isolate, I ask my parents to send pictures of their adorable dogs instead. And: boundaries! It's so hard to set them, and they’ve improved my relationships more than anything else.
In case you’re still wondering whether I’m human like you, here are some fun facts:
I'm a literary fiction fiend and read an average of 50 or more books per year. Some recent favorites include Land of Milk and Honey by C Pam Zhang and In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado.
I love team sports, both as a fan and a participant! My parents put me in soccer at an early age because they thought I was too "delicate.” I turned out to be a kid who loved rolling around in the mud, so the joke was on them!
I have a vast collection of funky earrings made by independent artists. You will definitely see me wearing them for in-person sessions.
My why: loving relationships & radical support
For me, relationships are everything.
I come alive when a client speaks a truth so powerful that we both pause to take it in.
There’s no better feeling in the world than witnessing them as they remember their innate strength and value. That my career consists of sitting with clients during those Aha! moments fills me with nothing short of love.
We all tell stories about ourselves, one another, and the world. Sometimes, those stories help, and sometimes, they hurt. As a narrative therapist, I feel deeply called to help clients examine, revise, and ultimately take back their stories.
Being a space where someone can laugh, cry, vent, worry, learn, grow, and flourish fills my cup to the brim.
I’m also passionate about advocating for clients beyond our therapy sessions: I organize locally and stay involved with mutual aid projects within the community; I connect with other therapists about my lived experience as a non-binary person and how the field as a whole can improve in serving the trans and NB community; and I stay on top of research and trainings, especially those relevant to my work with current clients.
Outside of my work as a therapist, I’m continually inspired by:
That moment in a project where everything just clicks, and you enter a flow state.
Creative endeavors that connect me to other people.
Blasting through a season of terrible reality television with my best friend and laughing until our sides hurt.
The radical strength of queer youth throughout the world, and helping in whatever way I can to make sure they get to grow into adulthood.
Finding ways to make an impact within my neighborhood.
Live music! Delicious food!
My unique gifts: non-judgment, enthusiasm, & creativity
Being non-judgmental is a core value of mine, and I easily hold space for things clients might find shameful, embarrassing, or "too much."
People often say that I'm personable, fun to be around, and funny! I’m also very approachable—I’ve never been called intimidating in my life.
I'm a great teacher. I can synthesize a lot of information quickly, so tangents or long stories are no problem for me. I easily hold the big picture in mind.
I am generous with my time and energy. I’m also highly enthusiastic about the things I care about, and that enthusiasm is infectious. I want to do all the things all the time (this is also a weakness if it’s not reined in!).
At my 80th birthday party, my loved ones will probably say, When Nicole is excited about something, they become unstoppable! And that I show up radically for the people I'm in community with.
As a narrative therapist, I excel at helping clients overcome shame and anxiety by disidentifying from their struggles. You’re not the problem – the problem is the problem!
One way I do this is by welcoming discussions about how systems of oppression, late-stage capitalism, past trauma, toxic relationships, politics, and current events have contributed to (if not outright created) your mental health and relationship struggles.
I also excel at helping clients think creatively about their problems. Whether I’m introducing writing, collage, role-play, or visualizations, engaging my clients’ creativity leads to new perspectives and solutions.
Alongside narrative therapy, I like to teach my clients coping skills, especially body-based strategies like nervous system regulation and polyvagal theory. Connecting with and calming the body leads to greater self-confidence and more authentic, healthy relationships.
As a result of how I uniquely show up, my clients often report:
increased willingness to be vulnerable and authentic
greater confidence and self-trust
healthier relationships
a deep sense of self-compassion and self-forgiveness
an expanded sense of what is possible in their relationships
Still wanting to get a sense of who I am? Try listening to our podcast, I Love You, Too, where I’ve been interviewed about Navigating Dating & Relationships When Your Sexuality or Gender is in Flux.
It's my joy to help you feel safe and accepted
Our sessions will provide you with clarity, concrete skills, and empowerment.
During our meetings, I aim to help you feel accepted, energized, and validated so that you can break harmful patterns, heal trauma, and build self-confidence.
I will be very transparent with you about why I’m structuring our work together the way I do, whether that’s explaining why I'm suggesting a homework assignment, introducing a creative exercise in session, or asking you a particular question. I never want you to feel like you’re in the dark about your treatment goals and plan.
I invite you to offer feedback about how our sessions are going. I thrive on knowing how to make our meetings worth your time, energy, and money.
I naturally balance exploring deep emotions and offering practical skills. But don’t worry, sessions aren’t all serious – I'm not afraid to crack a joke in sessions where appropriate. A good laugh can be just as healing as a profound insight.
It's important to me to support all of you no matter what's happening in your life and to hold space for your unique story. You deserve an empowering narrative, and I am committed to helping you find one.
I recognize your individuality and won’t take a "one size fits all" approach to our work together. Rest assured, I will design our sessions to fit your needs and concerns.
As a therapist, I embrace the following philosophies
I believe that:
You are worthy of love
Black lives matter
It's not selfish to take care of yourself
Trans bodies are worthy bodies
Fat can be fit
Neurodiversity should be celebrated
Feminism is for everyone
Creativity is a superpower!
My professional background
My pre-therapy career and early therapy training occurred in fast-paced, diverse university settings, including UCLA.
I then earned my Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Sonoma State University.
I’ve focused my post-degree work on supporting individual adults and adult couples in private practice settings.
I sincerely enjoy helping individuals and couples build stronger connections at the Relationship Center and its specialty clinics, Bay Area Dating Coach, and the Social Anxiety Support Center.
I've worn many other hats outside of coaching and providing therapy, including working as a writer, book reviewer, voice actor, mental health educator, and event planner.
Services I provide
Therapy for non-monogamous couples, triads, and polycules
Couples therapy for sexual issues
Gottman couples therapy
Dating help
Testimonials
Couples therapy has been one of the most valuable investments we've made in our relationship. What began as a last-resort attempt to save our connection transformed into a journey of profound growth, understanding, and renewed intimacy.
The most remarkable aspect was developing a shared vocabulary for our emotions and needs. Before therapy, our arguments would spiral into frustration as we lacked the language to express what was truly happening beneath the surface. Our therapist helped us identify patterns and taught us specific terminology that transformed vague feelings into clear communication. Learning to say "I feel disconnected" instead of "You never listen" changed everything about how we resolved conflicts.
The compassion that emerged through this process was unexpected and beautiful. Seeing my partner's vulnerabilities through the lens of a skilled therapist helped me understand behaviors I'd previously found frustrating. This compassionate perspective allowed us to stop viewing disagreements as combat and start seeing them as opportunities to understand each other more deeply.
Having a neutral third party guide our conversations provided invaluable structure and safety. Our therapist created space where difficult truths could emerge without defensiveness. She noticed patterns we couldn't see ourselves and gently redirected us when old habits threatened progress. Sometimes, simply having a witness to our communication helped us stay accountable to the healthier patterns we wanted to establish.
What surprised me most was how therapy benefited us beyond our relationship. The communication skills we developed enhanced our interactions with family, friends, and colleagues. The emotional intelligence we cultivated made us more empathetic and effective in all areas of life.
Couples therapy wasn't always comfortable—growth rarely is—but the discomfort yielded profound results. If you're considering taking this step with your partner, I cannot recommend it strongly enough. The tools, insights, and renewed connection we gained have transformed not just our relationship, but our entire approach to life together. - B.W.
Let’s discover how I can help
If you've made it this far through my page, you’re likely my favorite kind of person— a courageous human who’s willing to take risks despite feeling hopeless.
If you’re feeling alone, know you needn’t be – I’m here, and I’d love to work with you. You deserve a safe space where you can grow, experiment, play, and transform.
If you think I might be the right coach or therapist to help you start expressing yourself without fear, reach out.
In your free 30-minute consultation, you'll discuss your struggles and goals with our Care Coordinator. Once they confirm that I’m the best clinician for you, they’ll answer any questions you have and schedule your initial session with me.
To get started, apply for a free 30-minute consultation today. I look forward to meeting you!