About Jessica Anne Engle
Psychotherapist, Drama Therapist, Dating Coach, and Founder (she/her)
Online therapy and coaching for introverts, trauma survivors, and highly sensitive people
Welcome, welcome!! I'm Jessica Anne Engle, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (81850), dating coach, couples counselor, Registered Drama Therapist, co-host of the podcast I Love You, Too, and the founder and CEO of the Relationship Center. I work with introverts, trauma survivors, and highly sensitive people who feel insecure in their relationships. I aim to help you overcome anxiety, heal trauma, and finally enjoy the deep connections you crave.
As a coach and therapist, I love helping others build satisfying relationships. This includes:
Showing chronically single introverts how to bring more play and delight to the dating process so they can finally find their person.
Supporting married couples to replace frequent arguments with loving-kindness, especially during stressful transitions (lookinatchou, parents of young children and anyone trying to buy a house in the Bay Area).
Helping shy introverts feel confident expressing themselves authentically in social situations.
Helping adult children (i.e., people who grew up in dysfunctional families) develop secure attachment and enjoy reciprocal, healthy relationships.
My journey to becoming a Tender of Sensitive Souls
I first heard the call to become a healer when I was 16 years old and my loving yet painfully dysfunctional family sought counseling. Sitting in an overstuffed chair beside my siblings and parents, I was surprised to find that therapy felt familiar rather than awkward and forced. As I observed our therapist, I thought, “I could do what that nice woman is doing.” Mind you, not in a sarcastic, adolescent way, but in a “for some reason, I get this” kind of way.
My teenage reaction to that experience was, of course, to resolve *not* to become a therapist. That would be too predictable, too “on the nose.” Ah, sweet adolescent me.
Fast forward to when I was a 21-year-old, newly-minted college grad with a (very practical) B.A. in Architectural History. Through various self-development practices, including and especially a daily meditation practice, I realized that pursuing a career in architecture wouldn’t, as I’d previously hoped, bring me joy. I wanted to help fellow humans more directly. The more I sat and listened to my inner world, the more I realized I could no longer ignore the call I’d heard as a teenager.
Becoming a therapist is easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
As an introvert, highly sensitive person, trauma survivor (dare I say thriver?!), hopeful romantic, intimacy geek, wife, and mama, I know first-hand what it takes to create authentic, healthy relationships.
I go to therapy religiously, consume books and podcasts about mental health voraciously, meditate imperfectly, and build deep and profoundly messy relationships like my livelihood depends on it.
In case you’re still wondering whether I’m human like you, here are some fun facts:
My 14-year-old cat, Neshika (which means “Kiss” in Hebrew), meows like a tiny dragon, so that’s her nickname. You may see her cat-dragon tail make an appearance during our video sessions. 😻
When I’m out and about, I tend to attract lost tourists needing directions. My loved ones tell me it’s because I have a kind, calm demeanor; I like to joke that it’s because I’m 5’10 (5’11 on a good day) and wear glasses, so people think I can see long distances. 🤓
I recently bought roller skates! Since I’m an elder millennial, they are (of course) early-90s teal with bubblegum pink laces and light-up wheels 🛼 My inner 8-year-old is convinced that I am the coolest adult ever. 😂
My why: a kinder, more loving world
I want nothing more than to fill the world with more playful, authentic, deeply meaningful, healthy relationships.
I’ve always been mildly obsessed with love, intimacy, what makes people tick, and finding the seemingly impossible path through trauma towards living an unapologetically authentic, joyful life.
I’m here to help trauma survivors develop secure attachment. If you’re not an attachment theory nerd like me, that’s fancy therapist-speak for “I want to help people feel confident and joyful in their relationships.”
I also do my best to walk my talk outside of my work with clients. At my 80th birthday party, I hope people say I love with an unguarded heart.
What I most love about being a therapist are the moments when my clients feel unconditionally accepted in all their rough rawness, sometimes for the first time in their lives. Those a-ha moments where they stumble upon the undeniable fact of their lovability and the fierce courage of their sensitivity.
My unique gifts: presence, empathy, and integrity
People often say I have a calming, inviting presence that makes them feel profoundly safe and seen.
My intuition, compassion, and sensitivity enable me to guide my clients to new perspectives and ever-deepening levels of healing.
I see therapy as a relationship laboratory, one where my clients get to run experiments, make messes, and have corrective emotional experiences.
I am an improviser by nature and delight in designing sessions moment-by-moment to meet my clients wherever they are. That might mean helping them express complex emotions through drama therapy, find calm using polyvagal-informed practices, or clarifying concrete steps towards their goals by simply talking.
I’ve been told I have an uncanny capacity to attune to others and perceive things that have remained in the shadows for a lifetime. My memory and pattern recognition are exceptional; that, combined with my puzzle-loving brain and passion for helping, makes me unusually good at understanding and guiding my clients.
I constantly seek resources to support my clients, including podcasts, books, worksheets, and skilled providers.
I’m glad to be with you, whether you’re crying or laughing
Our sessions will provide a safe space, validation, and actionable steps forward. Feeling wholly supported will give you the clarity and confidence needed to build close, meaningful relationships.
There isn’t a “one size fits all” approach to therapy; our sessions will fit your specific needs and concerns.
As a therapist, I embrace the following philosophies
I believe that:
You are worthy of love
Asians belong
Black lives matter
We can do hard things
Asking for help is brave
There’s a lid for every pot
Immigrants make America great
Neurodiversity should be celebrated
Highly sensitive people rule
My professional background
I obtained my M.A. in Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies—my emphasis: drama therapy, i.e., using theater and the dramatic arts to help humans grow.
During grad school, I established Bay Area Dating Coach. My studies inspired me to use improv, role-play, and other dramatherapeutic approaches to help shy singles build dating skills and confidence.
While working as a dating coach, I obtained the 3000+ hours of experience required to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist by offering action-oriented therapy to singles, socially anxious professionals, and couples.
After earning my MFT license in 2014, I was inspired to help on a broader scale. I established the Relationship Center (previously the Engle Center), a collective of creative, kind, intimacy-obsessed clinicians driven to help others. In addition to helping couples, we serve shy introverts and singles looking for love at our specialty clinics, the Social Anxiety Support Center and Bay Area Dating Coach.
I am incredibly lucky to have a team of enthusiastic, wicked-smart clinicians to join me on my mission of helping shy folk and trauma survivors build joyful, authentic relationships.
Since therapy is not financially accessible to many, I’m committed to creating copious free resources about dating, relationships, and social anxiety. I do so through our monthly newsletter, blog articles, social media posts, and my podcast, I Love You, Too.
I have been interviewed by a number of media outlets including the New York Times, Huffpost, WikiHow, and SFGATE.
My brain is happiest learning new things about mental health, intimacy, how to heal, and the body’s role in feeling whole. As such, I’m regularly consuming books, podcasts, trainings, etc., about all the things, including:
Attachment theory
The intersection of social justice and therapy
Relational neuroscience (I’m lookinatchou, polyvagal theory and interpersonal neurobiology 😍)
Trauma
Dating
The science of happy relationships
Mindfulness, especially self-compassion
Sexuality
How to live well as an empath, introvert, or highly sensitive person
Services I provide
Testimonials
I saw Jessica Engle for weekly sessions from 2016-2018. She's helped me be open with my thoughts/feelings/emotions with both men and women, and its brought down my anxiety over all because I feel like I can be my authentic self in most situations. Thank you Jessica for your lasting impact! ~Andrew
I affectionately refer to Ms. Engle as "Dr. Jessica" because (a) I think it's cute and (b) I feel like she doctored my brain when it comes to social anxiety. I started seeing Dr. Jessica in the beginning of 2016. I had been paralyzed by anxiety and had been living like a hermit for months. I was desperately lonely, but too afraid of people to actually put myself out there and engage with the world. Knowing that something was wrong, I attended one of the Bay Area Dating Coach workshops. That in turn inspired me to sign up for a private session with Dr. Jessica. It was honestly rough at first - my physical symptoms of anxiety made me feel sick to my stomach - but Dr. Jessica always helped me feel comfortable. She seemed to have an intuitive ability to sense when we needed to do breathing exercises or a guided meditation. Because of her professional nature, I felt comfortable: I more or less knew what to expect and knew that I was in control - if I didn't want to do something, I didn't have to. Working with her for almost a year, I gained priceless insights, soothed and processed so many childhood wounds, and learned how to care for myself in a loving, kind way. I'm able to meet new people, go to social events, and date without feeling horrible during or afterwards. I feel like a new person, and many of my coworkers and friends have noticed the difference. I'm so lucky to have found Dr. Jessica. I had been to other therapists in the past, but she helped me like no one else because of her empathic, kind, gentle, and insightful nature. I'm forever grateful for her help and absolutely recommend her to others struggling with social anxiety. ~Jennie
My experience with Jessica Engle was rewarding, provocative, and fun. She is insightful, compassionate, funny, and definitely in the right line of work! I did fulfill my dream of being in a loving, committed relationship while working with her, and the work I did with her certainly helped bring about that result. I would recommend her to anyone interested in gaining insight into dating and relationships. (Or anything else, actually.) She's good. ~Danny
Let’s discover how I can help
I get that entrusting your vulnerabilities to a total stranger can be deeply scary, particularly if you’ve experienced difficult relationships in the past. For that reason, I am touched that you've even read this far. I look forward to meeting you, Courageous Human!
Reach out and let us know that I could be your best fit therapist.
When you reach out, you'll talk to our Care Coordinator. During your 30-minute call, you can share what’s going on for you, ask any questions you may have, and get scheduled for your first session with me.
Fill out the free 30-minute consultation application today to get started. I'm here for you.