About Daniel Cody Gould
Psychotherapist, Dating Coach and Care Coordinator (he/him)
Online therapy and coaching for highly sensitive professionals, disconnected couples, and childhood trauma survivors
Well, howdy!! I'm Daniel Cody Gould, but you can call me Cody. I'm an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (#125485) supervised by Jessica Anne Engle (LMFT #81850) and a dating coach, couples counselor, and drama therapist. I work with anxious singles, disconnected couples, trauma survivors, and estranged families who are stuck repeating unhealthy relational patterns. My goal is to help you clarify what you want, learn communication skills, and overcome anxiety so you can build a more fulfilling life.
As a coach and therapist, I enjoy spending my days being of service, including:
Supporting singles to find a loving relationship despite growing up without healthy models of intimate relationships.
Creating a safe space for couples to overcome sexual intimacy issues so that they can reignite the spark. This includes queer, kinky, non-monogamous couples and polycules.
Helping socially anxious professionals feel confident and empowered to express themselves authentically.
Teaching survivors of childhood trauma how to break harmful patterns so that they can enjoy happier relationships.
Helping disconnected families rebuild trust and regain closeness, especially adult children and their parents.
My journey to becoming a psychotherapist and coach
I was lucky enough to grow up in a loving and civic-minded family. My service-oriented mom instilled in me a strong drive to contribute to others through volunteering, which I took to like a fish to water, natural hard worker (or in Bay Area woowoospeak, classic Capricorn :)) that I am.
Growing up in a caring, secure family, I was often surprised and saddened to see others in the world suffering from trauma and abuse, sometimes at the hands of loved ones. That realization, combined with my instinct to serve others, led me to a career in the mental health field. Well, that and my first breakup.
See, when I was a sophomore in college, my high school sweetheart and First Love daylighted something that I’d been working very hard to deny – that we were drifting apart, diverging in both our interests and priorities. My 20-year-old heart shattered.
For the first time, I saw that sometimes relationships end because both people have grown, not because anyone did anything wrong. I’m on a lifelong journey towards really integrating this fact of human life – that you and I both are good (wonderful, really) even if (or really, when) the unexpected causes pain.
As painful as that first heartbreak was, I’m grateful that it pushed me to address my own relationship and anxiety hang-ups. In the months following my breakup, I dove headfirst into self-healing through various positive outlets, including therapy, yoga, volunteering, and improv. I not only felt better, but I realized that I enjoy being of service to others who experience the same issues. I also saw firsthand how the support of friends makes a huge difference.
As a queer, anxious, highly sensitive man, I am continually learning ways to build authentic, self-honoring relationships. And as a type 1 diabetic who identifies as a neopagan, gamer, yogi, and aesthete, I know what it means to create a joyful life in spite of not fitting into society’s rigid standards.
I never expect my clients to take my suggestions at face value. Like you, I'm on an ever-evolving quest to prioritize my own wellness, whether by seeking support from friends, speaking with my personal therapist (yes, therapists have therapists, too!), meditating, or introspecting.
I stay engaged and inspired in my clinical work by learning new ways to support my clients. I’m an information sponge, so you’ll often find me reading a new book, enthusiastically consulting with my colleagues, or honing my skills by taking trainings. As a drama therapist, I feel refreshed when I find ways to support my client’s healing through incorporating play and well-timed irreverence.
Nothing gets me more excited than seeing clients develop a sense of agency and feel empowered, perhaps for the first time in their lives.
In case you’re still wondering whether I’m human like you, here are some fun facts:
I collect offbeat spiritual statuettes. My collection consists mostly of Buddhist, Hindu, and Western Neopagan statuettes, but I also have odd one-offs like a flamingo. It inspires me, evokes different energies that I need during the day, and serves as a meditation focal point.
I am a consummate fan of roleplaying games, especially Dungeons & Dragons. I love how they challenge me to see everyone as versatile, multifaceted, and resilient. RPGs also remind me of the immense power of teamwork and collaboration.
My friends often liken me to a goat thanks to my unfailingly rumpled hair/beard, single-minded focus, and easygoing (or should I say easy goat-ing? 😂) nature.
My why: I’m happiest when helping others find happiness
At heart, I’m an adventurer. More than anything, I love walking alongside clients as they journey into the depths of their own psyches.
I’m honored to accompany my clients on their hero’s journey, serving as their guide on the delicate journey toward self-actualization.
Connecting with and supporting others brings me great joy. I love nothing more than helping others metamorphose and find what the Greeks call “eudaimonia,” which translates to “good spirit.”
My unique gifts: flexibility, enthusiasm, and non-judgment
People often say that I'm theatrical, kind, playful, and intellectual and that I have a lot of focus and ambition.
My unusual mix of high energy and calm makes me an ideal counselor. I bring mindfulness to moments of stress and enthusiasm to moments of stuckness.
My excitement about growth and personal healing is infectious. I tend to be a great fit for clients who are looking for someone with unflagging faith in their capacity to transform.
I take great strides to dignify and honor my clients exactly as they are, no matter what they’ve gone through.
I know that you are the world expert on your life; while I’m always happy to offer guidance and suggestions (I’m very comfortable taking a more directive approach where needed), I hold sacred your instincts and insights. I will always support you in identifying your truth rather than pushing my agenda.
My unique approach will give you a sense of control over your self-actualization. I will work hard to create a non-judgmental environment where you feel capable and honored.
I’m definitely not the kind of therapist who simply sits, nods, and rephrases what you say. Through asking questions, teaching skills, and providing resources, my aim is to help you feel fully supported, listened to, and engaged.
I like to bring a sense of ease and playfulness to sessions even as we work hard. And when you struggle with feeling uncertain about your chances of "getting better," I will be there to offer hope. I believe in you.
We will co-create sessions to meet your ever-evolving needs
Sessions will give you a path forward, concrete skills, and validation. Together, we’ll create an environment where you can feel energized, hopeful, and grounded.
You’ll learn communication skills, break harmful patterns, overcome anxiety, and take positive action so that you can build the life you’re longing for.
It's important to me to create safety within sessions and tailor our work to meet your specific needs. There isn't a "one size fits all" approach to therapy or coaching, so our sessions will fit your specific needs and concerns.
I pride myself on my extensive support network and library of resources. If we arrive at a question that is difficult for us to address, I will always use the support of my colleagues and extensive resources to find a solution that works for you.
As a therapist, I embrace the following philosophies
I believe that:
Feminism is for everyone
Diversity makes us stronger
It's not selfish to take care of yourself
Not all disabilities are visible
Neurodiversity deserves normalization, recognition, and celebration
We all need the right conditions to bloom
My professional background
Through participating in improv, role-playing games, and other forms of theater as a teen and young adult, I was inspired to pursue an M.A. in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Drama Therapy at the California Institute of Integral Studies.
My training in drama therapy along with working in acute and sub-acute psychiatric settings since my early 20s taught me how to help others in a creative, active, and compassionate manner, no matter how much they are suffering.
In addition to being an action-oriented psychotherapist and coach, I am an educator with a specialization in dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). To say I’m passionate about skill-based forms of healing is an understatement, so fair warning: if you ask me about DBT, there’s a good chance I’ll talk your ear off about dialectics and start walking you through skill drills 🙂.
I have extensive experience working with individuals recovering from substance abuse. I’m strengths-based and person-centered, which means that I don’t push a particular recovery path. Whether you’re interested in moderation or abstinence, I am passionate about empowering you to design your recovery in a way that works for you.
I’m also Gottman Level 1 trained (that’s an evidence-based couples therapy). I seek out trainings and supervision that enable me to offer LGBTQIAP2S+-friendly care to my kinky, queer, asexual, and polyamorous clients.
Services I provide
Therapy for non-monogamous couples, triads, and polycules
Couples therapy for sexual issues
Gottman couples therapy
Counseling for couples struggling with addiction or substance abuse
Dating help
Family therapy
Testimonials
Working with Cody was amazing! My partner and I had a break through in our first session. We learned how to respectfully listen and communicate without all the passive/aggressive banter we tend to do. Thank you Cody for your patience and guidance. — Robert Service, 57, San Francisco
I really appreciated the work I was able to do with Cody. I was matched with him after a 30 minute intake call and think that he was a great fit for my needs and goals. I'd recommend this service to anyone who is looking for a company that specializes in anxiety. — CB
I was initially skeptical because I tried other dating coaching companies that claimed to help me get more matches online, but they could not. I had almost given up until one day, in the act of desperation, I just put it in the search box in google online dating coaching, and minutes later, I saw the website for the Bay Area Dating Coach. I signed up and talked to Jessica Engle about my problems with online dating, and she explained to me that her coaches knew precisely how to deal with my type of problem. I also want to add that all their coaches are licensed therapists too! I was given a coach named Daniel Cody, who was very friendly and knowledgeable about online dating. Daniel gave me strategies for building my profile and reviewed it when I changed the bio and photos. These changes resulted in me meeting the woman of my dreams. — William
There are so many ups and downs trying to find love these days and I felt like I was on this ongoing rollercoaster that was impossible to get off of. My coach was able to help me find out what matters the most to me in a relationship and help me get off the rollercoaster of the dating world. I was able to overcome traumas of past relationships and identify what to look for in a happy, healthy relationship, which then open my mind and heart to the possibilities of love. I was a skeptic to finding love with modern dating but not until I was open to change my mind about it, I was able to find true love. It didn’t happen right away but it was a process, a process that required time and reflection. I’m grateful for my coach to for facilitating me through all of it. — Anonymous
Let’s discover how I can help
Start building happier relationships and in turn a more fulfilling life. Reach out and let us know that I could be your best fit therapist.
When you reach out, you'll talk to our Care Coordinator and, you can share what’s going on for you, ask any questions you may have, and get scheduled for your first session with me.
Fill out the free 30-Minute consultation application today to get started. I'm here for you.