Looking for some simple practices that you can use when your anxiety runs high?
I recommend learning and practicing the following skills in a comfortable environment regularly such that they become second nature in high-stress moments.
Once you get the hang of the tools, you’ll find that some can be used discretely in the presence of others. For example, try making your exhalation longer than your inhalation while feeling nervous on a date.
1. Breathing Practices
Take 10 deep belly breaths.
Next, extend your exhalation such that it’s noticeable longer than your inhalation.
If you like, try breathing in for 2, holding for 2, and exhaling for 4.
Finally, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, making an “ah” sound on the exhalation.
2. Tapping and Stroking
Using the fingertips of your right hand, tap along the top and bottom of your left arm. Experiment with tempo and pressure to discover what allows your body to relax.
Switch — use your left hand to tap both sides of your right arm.
Repeat — instead of tapping, offer yourself self-compassionate touch using long strokes, much like you’d pet a beloved cat or dog.
Try tapping or stroking other areas of your body, including your head, face, back, and legs.
3. Grounding
While seated, place both feet flat on the floor.
Press your left foot into the ground and hold for 5 seconds.
Release and notice any sensations in your left foot and leg.
Switch — press, release, and notice, this time using your right leg and foot.
Push both feet into the ground for 10 seconds. Release and take note of any sensations.
4. Self-Containing
Try each of the following positions for at least 30 seconds. Revel in any pleasant sensations that arise.
While seated, place one hand on top of the other, palms facing up. Notice the circular shape that your arms and hands create.
Nestle your right hand into your left armpit. Place your left hand on your right shoulder. Notice how this “self-hug” feels.
While seated, draw your legs up to your body and hug them with your arms.
Place a blanket around your body and hold it snug.
5. Mediation on the Five Senses
Mindfully engage with your environment using your five senses.
Find objects to feel, smell, taste, hear, and see.
Pick out small details you might usually miss.
For example, look closely at the weave and colors in your clothing.
Smell a cup of tea or candle.
Explore the textures of your chair’s frame and fabric.
6. Meditation on the Breath
Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. If possible, maintain a straight spine without tensing your muscles.
Take note of your body, mind, and emotional states. Scan your body with a sense of kindness and curiosity. Do your best to avoid judging what you discover.
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Place your attention on your breath, noticing where you feel it in your body.
If you have a hard time feeling your breath, place a hand on your stomach or chest and feel the rise and fall of your hand.
As you continue to pay attention to the breath, take note of its tempo, depth, and its rhythm. Every breath is different from the last — see if you can catch the subtle differences.
Throughout the meditation, thoughts and feelings will arise. This is perfectly normal. Redirect your attention back to your breath when you notice you’ve gotten distracted.
When you’re ready to complete the meditation, give your mind permission to wander freely for a moment.
Notice the feeling of your body making contact with the surfaces underneath you.
Wiggle your toes and fingers. Breathe in, noticing any smells in the air.
Open your eyes and look at the colors, textures, and shapes around you.
Once more, take note of your body, mind, and emotional states as they compare to when you started the exercise. Do so from a stance of curiosity, avoiding judgment.